PAST HISTORY
I am always fascinated to discover how other people realised they were 'into' BDSM and how, if at all, they made their first steps into actually doing it! Everyone has a unique and fascinating story to tell.

Mine starts back as a very young girl. I had a 'make-believe' friend who happened to be a tall, dark handsome man who carried a whip. Strange perhaps but true. He was my constant companion, talking to me, advising me, sometimes urging me into mischief. In time,he sadly faded away as these apparitions do. However, his early appearance and influence in my life leads me to believe that I was predisposed toward dominant behaviour from my birth.

Telltale things gave it away to me even if I kept quiet about my feelings. I remember at primary school I felt guilty thrills when other children were physically disciplined or humiliated by the teachers. One boy, Rupert had annoyed our teacher all morning and eventually her patience wore through. Exasperated, she hauled him up onto her desk so his little legs were dangling down helplessly. Grasping the waistband of his shorts firmly, she pressed him across the wooden desk and proceeded to smack his bottom and thighs with her heavy wooden ruler. He squealed, writhed and wept but could not get away. Even at that tender age, I was intrigued by the power play going on before me. To cap it all, she made him stand in the corner, hands on his head so he was unable to rub the pain away from his sore bottom and legs. I felt strangely excited by this spectacle and even though I was too young to associate it with any sexual feeling, I knew it made me feel good inside.

It was 1982 when I had another revelatory experience. This time in High School where corporal punishment was still (just) allowed in schools. Two boys were caught smoking for the umpteenth time and their punishment was to be publicly caned in front of the prefects. Pupils had been slippered before but none of us could remember the cane being used. We prefects felt shocked as we assembled in the wide corridor and the Deputy Headmaster appeared carrying a strong hefty cane. The two boys,considered quite tough bullies, visibly shook upon sighting the cane.

The teacher, a big strong man, put all his considerable strength into the strokes. He held the first boy down by his neck and delivered at least ten blows. The boy cried out in pain and fear and the other started weeping in anticipation of his share. My fellow prefects were stunned silent by this event. I was aware it was brutal and non-consensual, but it still caused my blood to quicken through my veins. I blushed as I realised witnessing this spectacle was actually arousing me . Needless to say, I did not mention this to my peers who all looked pale and shocked. I felt very alone at that point and wondered if I was the only person in the world who reacted that way. Surely I must be the only pervert to delight in the pain and humiliation of others.

As I progressed through my teens and became sexually active, my burgeoning sexual fantasises consisted of images of whipping, mild torture and torment. My imaginary friend from my primary school days re-emerged in my day dreams as the owner of a slave farm. What goes on at his establishment has fuelled my fantasies for many years and still does to this day.

I tried to find partners who I could interest in BDSM in a subtle way but this proved difficult as I could not bring myself to articulate clearly what my desires were. I felt that most men would run a mile if I ended a romantic evening with these words on my doorstep, 'Fancy coming in for coffee and ten strokes of my cane?'.

So life went on and I followed the path expected of me, O levels, A levels and a good degree in English. Still I had no met any submissive men to play with.

Eventually the internet came to my rescue! I discovered the vast amount of BDSM material available and realised I was not alone in my desires. I met fellow BDSM-ers through a local group and met subs and slaves to play with for the first time. My life changed beyond recognition. I felt truly fulfilled doing something I loved.

I am hoping that I will help some of you to live out your fantasies and in doing so enable you become more satisfied and happier people.

MK...