Nowadays I am doing something which I always had dreamed of. Namely living in a 24/7 D/s relationship with a submissive partner.

P and I met when he started to come to see me for Pro-Domme sessions back in late 2002.  We got on extremely well straight away ,having great sessions as Domme and sub but also aware that we just liked each other immensely whether playing or not. Over what we joke is a very long and relatively chaste courtship, we grew closer and closer and in Dec 2006 decided to live together as Domme and sub and life partners.

It is one of the best decisions I have made in my life and I am remarkably happy. P assures me that he is still madly happy too.

So, what is it like living in our version of a 24/7 D/s lifestyle.

I shall explain a bit about how we make it work, what we do and do not do.

What we do not do is have p naked, chained to the radiator all day, beaten black and blue, humiliated on a daily basis and made to sleep on the floor and tossed scraps of food from my disdainful fingers when I feel like it.  Maybe some people have a 24/7 relationship  like that.  We don’t want that. Ever. That is the stuff of  extreme fantasies which are fun if kept as just that…things to dream about.

P is my sub, not my slave as I do not ‘own’ him.  That is not a concept I feel comfortable with. He does, however, belong with and to me which is my preferred way of expressing that sense of possession one feels with a 24/7 sub.

We do live in a healthy, experimental, developing, loving bdsm relationship.  There are rules…My rules…..

P wears a thick silver curb chain I gave him locked around his neck always. He has two equally chunky silver wrist chains which are worn at home permanently. Out of the home, P wears just one on his right wrist so it looks like normal jewellery. He also wears a CB2000 chastity device whenever he is out of the home, away from me.  This stays on full time when he goes abroad for business. The longest he has worn it continuously is seven days.  We are working on finding opportunities to go longer in the device.

P is under my control sexually in every way.  That means he is under a permanent masturbation ban. He is only allowed orgasms when I feel he has deserved them in some way or I feel like giving him pleasure.  He never knows when that might be, the frequency or the method of orgasm.

He is told what underwear to wear each day when he goes out to work and upon return he must change out of his suit and wear no pants under his jeans. I like to keep him easily accessible and quite often he is kept semi–naked or naked in the house for my amusement.

He must obey a variety of simple domestic rules regarding eating etiquette, dress, tidiness and food preparation.

In addition, he is expected to text me upon arrival and leaving work so I know he is safe and when he will be back.

He is not allowed to spend more than a small amount of money with gaining my approval first and is expected to ask permission before leaving the house without me. The former has nothing to do with him being poor with money and everything to do with him feeling controlled by me in a myriad of ways.

All of these mechanisms of control make him feel cared for, submissive and happy and give me all the dominant pleasure I hoped that they would.

There are other rules, some formally agreed upon, some organically growing within the general guidelines I lay down.

He does not always have to refer to me as Mistress but seems to know the times when he SHOULD!

If he disobeys a rule he will be punished. That punishment can take the form of physical chastisement or any other suitable method. Even though he dislikes pain, he prefers me to give him a short sharp shock with CP and in truth, it is almost 100% effective in discouraging similar lapses. The worst thing for him is having let me down though.  He finds his own punishment in his remorse  when found wanting.

P no longer has the right to a safeword but I am very adept at knowing when enough is enough for him. When you are with someone all the time in a loving and caring bdsm situation trust builds naturally and deeply. P feels perfectly safe without recourse to a safeword and I feel able to read him well enough that a safeword is redundant.  In fact in our relationship, I think it would be a sign of something wrong now if we needed one. 

He makes time to pamper me, massage my body, feet and help me with my beauty regimes. He opens doors for me, carries bags and
behaves like an old fashioned gentleman toward me and other women. All he wants to do is please me and make my life easier and happier. Simple but just as it should be.

We still go to the playroom and have fun with bondage, CBT, anal and teasing sessions when we feel like it and that has lost none of it’s potential to please us.

I feel that a 24/7 bdsm life is the best of all worlds as I get to feel dominant and in control all of the time which is perfect. P feels deliciously submissive when with me whilst still the boss at work which is a necessary part of his life.

Outwardly we appear quite normal, no rubber gimp suits or weird stuff but behind closed doors we share a life a life of dominance and submission which is truly wonderful.

MK...